The Show Must Be Paused

#TheShowMustBePaused


Yesterday, a day to disconnect from social media and connect with our community. Connecting with community outside of social media these days is made difficult when there is also a pandemic that keeps many of us inside and isolated worried about the health of our loved ones. – An enormous Thank You to those who are out protesting, on the frontlines, and the essential workers. Be safe and well.

Yesterday, I spent a lot of my time thinking about how I could do better and be better in this new world we see unfolding before our eyes. How do I and will I continue to show up for this fight against injustice?

So, I disconnected and I got to work.

I decided to do it. I started this website that I have been wanting to create for so many years now. I desire to share my poetry, my stories of life and adventure, education, justice, injustice and love AND I have been terrified. I still am petrified, to be honest. However, yesterday, I remembered that this is no time to be silent. This is the time to speak up and share our truth and hopefully make a difference and stand up against hate and violence.

There are many ways I wish I could be out in the world right now if it weren’t due to a pandemic; protesting out on the steps of the Capitol, giving awkwardly long hugs to people, visiting former students and families, or serving together in the community. I know I will be able to do that again soon. For now, I realize I can use this art form to begin to find my way and use this as a means to help others gain new perspectives and insights; a place where I can learn take feedback and criticism and learn to be better.

Recently, I was talking to a good friend about my fear of putting my words out there in a way I never have before. Not only will I share my thoughts, stories and poetry… But because I am an educator and a white woman who has been working in marginalized schools and communities for 18 years now, I MUST now share the truth of what I have witnessed in this racist system. It is a bias system. Our most marginalized need our help and I must be vulnerable and not be silent. The system is corrupt. And we have to do something about it. However; I am learning, growing and working on checking my privilege and being more Anti-racist myself. And believe me when I say- as trainer and educator, I have fallen on my face several times in regards to these difficult topics. All of these fears washed over me. I am not sure my tender heart knows how to process all of this.

What if I say something wrong? Or my intentions are misread? What if I say something to offend my black and brown friends or any other groups who different than me when my intentions are the opposite? What if I am mistaken?

She reminded me that at times I just might be and reminded me that as long as I have an open mind and heart I WILL be better and learn. She reassured me that I have always been true to my heart. There is no time to worry about the “what ifs” and that as long as I know my intentions and am willing to learn when I DO get it wrong, it will be amazing and worth it. I am lucky to have her, and few other of the most supportive friends and who have always had my back, especially when it comes to me falling on my face 🙂 And I know, that with the support of my community, family and friends, I will learn and grow. And hopefully that will begin to make a difference.

Let’s do better. Let’s BE better. It is never too late.


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